Ujian itu mendewasakan bukan melemahkan

Setelah sekian lama membiarkan blog berhabuk, bukan bermakna mendiamkan diri cuma semakin sibuk dengan urusan harian yang semakin menuntut prioriti masa dan ruang fikiran. Walau selalu je write something sekadar buat monolog sendiri supaya menjadi peringatan sendiri.

So it has been one year since my husband and I get married. There was one day when the day I should go back to France and I got some problem during check-in process (lesson learnt, tolonglah check-in online untuk mengelakkan segala perkara tidak diingini dan memudahkan urusan). So masa tu gate dah buka, dah dekat final call. Rasa nak nangis. Kalau kena tinggal bas pun dah cukup menguji perasaan, apa lagi kalau kena tinggal flight. Masa tu sangatlah bersyukur dengan kehadiran parents yang macam superhero untuk 'selamatkan' baby sulong dia yang dah jadi isteri orang pun ni. I looked at their faces, sangat tenang. Just tanya, "oh okay so what we can do? Alright, then let's do it". Dengan lepas tu kena pergi office airline company di Paris with my very little french and arabic, turun naik tangga metro, tram, RER dan segala macam jenis train yang berserabut di kota cinta kononnya tu. Cakap dah macam ayam dengan itik. Pedulikan saja kena gelak sebab cakap arab fusha (orang arab sangat ramai di France). Dengan meredah hujan bersama luggage seberat 30kilo. Hebatnya mummy! (Paris nor France is not that romantic or charm thou)

Kalau kita jatuh jangan mudah mengeluh dan mengaduh, think fast. What we can do instead of mengeluh, membebel dengan benda yang tak mampu pun selesaikan masalah, instead of segan nak cuba, segan nak tanya. Kalaulah masa tu nak segan tanya, memang surrender lah duduk tepi jalan minta sedekah dengan makcik Romania while the husband is 700+ kilometer away from me and with limited phone connection! Akhirnya sangat lega berjaya tiba di sisi suami dengan suprise overnight di hotel. Thanks love!

Allah nak uji kita terus mengeluh atau menyalahkan takdir, atau mungkin terus menuding jari memaki hamun orang lain. Tanpa kita sedar semua itu tak mampu pun untuk memperbaiki keadaan melainkan dengan kita memperelok diri kita sendiri. Adjust your emotion, rationalize your mind, pat you faith and think wisely. Do what you can do within your control and follow the syariah. There's always a way out even the only way out is being sabr and sabr and sabr. Just believe in Allah.

Hakikatnya memang begitu kita belajar dari kehidupan. Ada jatuh bangunnya. Ada pahit manisnya. Apa pun jangan mengalah. Ujian itu mendewasakan bukan melemahkan! Pastinya banyak lagi episod kehidupan yang perlu dilalui bersama jiwa yang gagah dan tabah. Setiap langkah itu pastinya Allah bersama kita dan menghitung setiap satu daripadanya. Moga bukan menjadi amalan yang sia-sia dan penat semata.

ps : a warming up for my blog, hopefully i can write better after this.

Moga bermanfaat dan Allah makin sayang kita semua.

To all of us

Here's to 9 months of nausea, back pain and headache, to mention the least. 

Here's to child birth pain; erased forever at the wonderful sound of your breathing, crying babies. 

Here’s to saggy baby pouch, uneven lactating boobies, ugly stretch marks and apparent c-section scars. 

Here's to the struggle of breastfeeding; the nip cracks, sleepless nursing nights and endless pumping. 

Here’s to celebrating baby poop and fart. 

Here’s to lack of sleep and the glories it brings; eye bags, zombie-ness and surviving on coffees. 

Here’s to new moms; stumbling through diaper change, baby bath, and the art of taking a two-minutes shower. 

Here’s to baby’s first step, first toothless smile, first hearty laugh. 

Here’s to restless nights caring for your sick children. 

Here’s to toddler tantrum, terrible twos and terrific threes. 

Here’s to moms who are in dire need of date nights, coffee breaks, trip to the salon, an uninterrupted toilet visit, a long phone call with your friends; whatever it takes to remain sane. 

Here’s to moms who never get such breaks; may God ease your hardship. 

Here’s to proud moms fighting back tears watching your children singing their heart away at a school concert. 

Here’s to working moms struggling to balance raising kids and meeting deadlines. 

Here’s to stay-at-home moms who are 24/7 on their feet. 

Here’s to imperfect moms who don’t always feed your children homemade organic food, who couldn’t bake the perfect rainbow cakes, who couldn’t even master a simple kid’s craft. 

Here’s to learning to let go of a huge part of your personal social life. 

Here’s to our kid’s little achievements; learning to ride a bike, writing ABCs albeit crookedly, baking cookies, painting their own crafts, dressing themselves, making friends. 

Here’s to everyday drama; that even a simple act of getting ready for school could take longer time and more shouting than it should. 

Here’s to the pang of guilt you feel after you yelled at your kids for well, being kids. 

Here’s to breaking down after you couldn’t handle a bad moment. 

Here’s to other moms who give support and encouragement in those kind of bad moments; no judgment whatsoever. 

Here’s to moms giving in to ice creams, candies and gadgets; for a piece of sanity. 

Here’s to the constant fear for your child safety. 

Here’s to feeling the need to flee from wherever you are to hug your children when hearing news of a terrible accident, a wild storm, a baby dying. 

Here’s to kissing boo-boos, rocking a restless child to sleep, lullaby singing, comforting a tummy ache. 

Here’s to the heartache of letting go of your child; to school, college, out to the wild wild world. 

Here’s to stressed out moms; whose babies won’t stop crying, whose toddlers won’t stop shouting. 

Here’s to clueless moms; whose preschoolers won’t stop asking questions and demanding answers. 

Here’s to moms raising know-it-all teenagers, may God grant you patience and strength. 

Here’s to older moms, learning to let go of your all grown up babies. 

Here’s to the perfect trophy moms, the tiger moms, the crazy cool ones; whichever kind of awesome moms you are. 

Here’s to motherhood and its roller-coaster ride; of trying our best, taking each and every day as it comes and hoping that our kids will grow up to be amazing. 

Here’s to all of us. Happy mother’s day

Credit to marlizaradzi

sisa-sisa

sebolehnya sisa itu biar bersih,
biar hilang segalanya tanpa walau secebis,

ya, ia masih tersisa di sana sini,
sekejap begitu, sekejap begini,
sudah ada peningkatan tapi belum cukup memuaskan,

masih ada cubaan mencari peluang,
seolah-olah tiada pilihan lain,
sedangkan banyak cara lain untuk melakukannya

kepercayaan yang hilang tidak mudah dibina semula,
membentuk prinsip bukan kerja mudah,
bukan kerja sekelip mata pastinya,

maaf kerana terlalu teliti dalam pembinaan individu muslim.

bukan kerana cintakan dia
tapi kerana cintakan Dia
kerana Dia, amanah dipikul,
kerana Dia, segalanya mesti diteruskan

walau berat kaki melangkah
walau payah hati menggagah

moga Allah redha

the thing is

the thing is they're not finish yet
"mana ada, dah lama dah"
"tak ada dah"

meanwhile,

"tadi dia sebenarnya..."
"takpe, tiada apa yang dapat memisahkan kita"

the thing is let get this thing finish.

let's say goodbye to the jahiliyah
let's say goodbye to everything that dragged you back

sorry i'm not living eternally to just sit and watch
sorry i could not spend more time to waste my life
sorry i need to live on my life with my own mission and vision

waking up the sleeping giant is ain't easy. haih.

what makes people trust you

kepercayaan dari orang lain bukanlah sesuatu yang mudah dijual beli atau dipaksa arah. kepercayaan datang dari hujung hati seorang manusia. bila mana hilang sesuatu kepercayaan maka hilanglah segalanya, when lose the trust you lose everything. bukan mudah membina rasa percaya. apatah lagi bila ada peristiwa yang merosakkan kepercayaan itu dan menyentuh soal hukum. benarlah jahiliyah itu seperti virus, perlu dibasmi sepenuhnya, sehabisnya tanpa walau sekecil sisa biar apa pun nilai sentimental yang ada padanya.

berteguhlah pada tali Allah, pada jalan sebenar yang menuju kejayaan yang hakiki.

what makes your stand

setiap satu langkah dalam kehidupan akan membentuk diri kita. maka sangat penting untuk kita memilih langkah yang baik. juga segala ilmu di sepanjang perjalanan hidup sangat mempengaruhi kita. sebagai manusia kita tidak selayaknya menjadi manusia yang biasa-biasa, mengikut arus lalang, mengikut arus manusia yang lain.

menghadapi pelbagai gelagat dalam kehidupan memerlukan kita kepada prinsip. prinsip yang tidak akan berubah walau bagaimana keadaan sekali pun. prinsip yang paling kuat dan tidak boleh ditoleransikan hanyalah prinsip Al-Quran dan Sunnah. hukum Allah mengatasi segala hukum yang lain, mengatasi segala rasa hati manusia, mengatasi segala teori manusia.

yang haram tetap haram. yang halal tetap halal. bahkan ada yang halal boleh menjadi harus atau haram, bila mana ia memudaratkan atau menzalimi hak yang lain. betapa banyak perkara yang tak mampu menghalalkan sesuatu perkara walaupun niatnya baik, sungguh niat tak mampu menghalalkan cara, sungguh tempoh masa tak mampu menghalalkan sesuatu hubungan, sungguh nilai wang tak mampu menghalalkan sesuatu yang haram.

biarpun payah kita ingin menegakkan hukum tuhan, bermujahadahlah ke arahnya, setiap langkah ke arah itu beriringan dengannya hasanah, beriringan dengan kebaikan dan ganjaran di sisi Allah, maka ganjaran yang manakah yang lebih baik berbanding ganjaran dari tuhanmu.

choose to stay

We would see in every stages of life, there will be challenges that will bring you down, being dragged by the pain, the unstoppable tears, then later makes you closer to Him, then later makes you stronger than before. 

You might fight them physically or even legally. Bring the case to the court perhaps. Somehow you choose to stay strong and giving hope and chances. Always hope for a better days everyday. You might even just leave the situation but you choose to stay because you believe that Allah has decided for you to stay there. Everything comes from Allah and you ask Allah to bless and grant you with the unlimited strength so that you can survive by His blessing. 

Everyday you pray that the bad person will disappear from your life but unfortunately she  seems love to stay there and keep tickling your life. Perhaps she keep telling bad about you so you will be down and feel like everything is going to be an end. Fortunately you believe, Allah is the god, Allah is the one who will decide everything, not her, and not even you to decide. 

Everyday you ask for a new hope. Hoping everyone will tell you that there's still hope for you. Hoping everyone will tell you that's normal to have such situation. Hoping everyone will tell you that the bad person will realize her fault very soon. Hoping that she will make her promise true. Hoping that she's not making a fake promises anymore. So that you can feel release. So that you can see a light even it's looks tiny and narrow at the end of your journey. 

You know Allah is near by your side. He watches everything. He knows exactly what you feel inside. He knows exactly what you hope for. He knows. 

terus gagah

When this morning my mom texted me, 

"You need to be strong to face the non-Hira' world"

Well I'm not telling you that Hira' is the best or the people there are the holiest people in the world or what. It may be varied among other batches of Hira'.  Anyhow we usually bonded strongly among each other. Tell me let the oceans or mountains come, we would stand strong for each other. 

Be strong baby!